Me, myself, and you. And a cow.

Frankie, Johnny, and myself are going to tip a cow.

When did myself start being used as a substitute for me (or I)?
The Urban Dictionary defines “myself” as an idiot’s substitution for the words “me” or “I”.

For those idiots, who are surely not reading this blog, the simple solution is to think about what you’d say if you were the only one in that sentence.
I am going to tip a cow.
Frankie, Johnny, and I are going to tip a cow.

Just before you go pick up your partners in crime, you read the Huffington Post.
According to research from the University of British Columbia, simple physics suggests the force of a single person is hardly enough to cause a standing cow to topple over. Using Newton’s Second Law, they found that not one or two, but at least five people would be needed to exert enough force to push over a cow.

Now you’re thinking, I need help.
[Frankie, Johnny, and] I need help.
(Seriously. Professional help.)

You’re going to need at least two more people willing to risk the wrath of PETA, so you call Harriet. Harriet is a strapping lass. And she has a rather hefty mom.
“Harriet, can you and your mother come help [Frankie, Johnny, and] me?”

Frankie, Johnny, Harriet, her burly mom, and I go to jail.

2 thoughts on “Me, myself, and you. And a cow.

  1. rose says:

    this post is FANTASTIC!!! interesting and hilarious. love it!!

  2. V says:

    Me, myself, and I went to see the therapist. How about THAT?

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